In that I am basically in the broom closet, my steps on my pagan path consist entirely of reading, sporadic devotions, and practicing rituals.  The reading is good—terrific, in fact, and I wish I had more time for it.  A few weeks ago I finally finished reading Drawing Down the Moon by Margot Adler and so I now feel as if I have a better understanding of the development of modern Pagan practice in the U.S.  At the same time, though, I also feel that I took a very academic approach to reading it, and right now I want something more personally involving, so I am going back to a couple of books I read earlier and developing a plan to work through the questions for reflection and the spiritual exercises. 

The devotions are so-so; I feel as if I know what messages I want to convey in my devotions, but I’m just not very good at it.  This feeling of dissatisfaction is a little surprising to me, since one of the things about paganism I feel most satisfied with is the freedom to develop my own spiritual practices rather than having them prescribed to be by a church hierarchy. 

And as for rituals . . . well, if my devotions are so-so, my attempts at ritual are really quite pathetic just now.  I’m not at all ready yet to create my own rituals, and I’ve attempted to adapt some that were meant to be done by groups into a format that would work for me in a solitary setting, but quite frankly, that hasn’t worked at all. 

In response to the feeling I keep getting that I should seek guidance of a teacher or mentor, I am beginning to put out some subtle feelers.  It is tempting to just shove my closet door wide open and step out into the broad light of day, but there are some other aspects of my life with my family right now that are in flux, and I don’t want to shortchange either them or myself, so for now I am just going to keep my spiritual antennae on alert mode and see what comes of it over the next few months.

I’m a great fan of National Public Radio and our local affiliate, KUOW 94.9, for a number of reasons, not the least of which are the programs The Splendid Table with Lynne Rosetto Kasper and Garrison Keillor’s A Prairie Home Companion (both from American Public Media) as well as This American Life with Ira Glass and To The Point with Warren Olney (both from Public Radio International).  In addition, both NPR and KUOW provide top-notch, in-depth reporting, including work for NPR’s national desk by highly respected journalist, author, and Wiccan priestess Margot Adler! 

But what inspires me to bring up NPR/KUOW today is retired Seattle librarian Nancy Pearl and her frequent talks on KUOW that come under the heading “Book Lust.”  She has also produced at least four books—the first of which was titled (of course) Book Lust–on reading “for every mood, moment, and reason.”  She is an absolutely passionate reader, and I’m bringing her up today because I have recently reconnected with my passion for reading via a stack of excellent books on the history and practice of neo-paganism. 

As I mentioned in a previous post, I worked my way through Ronald Hutton’s Triumph of the Moon and when I say “work” I mean WORK!  It was some of the most challenging reading I have done in years, but definitely worth all the effort, as it provides a detailed history of the growth of neo-paganism (mostly in Great Britain, although there was one chapter devoted to some of the key personal and professional relationships between British and American developers/practitioners of paganism and witchcraft).  It is based on an absolute plethora of research of many primary sources and presented in a very even-handed way.  If you are willing to exercise your mental muscles a bit in order to gain a very detailed understanding of neo-paganism in Great Britain and the U.S., I would highly recommend Triumph of the Moon.

Prior to reading Hutton’s book, I devoured When God Was A Woman by Merlin Stone.  Shorter than Hutton’s book and somewhat less scholarly in tone, it nonetheless did an excellent job, I felt, of arguing that interpretation of evidence of goddess religions of the distant past was biased due to the fact that most researchers in the 18^th and 19^th centuries were males operating in a Judeo-Christian, male-centric academic atmosphere.  Stone points out that the term cult, which has very negative connotations, was frequently used by those scholars in connection with goddess-based religions, while the less pejorative term “religion” was more often employed to describe the male-dominant belief systems of old.   Stone also does a fascinating take (with some conjecture on her part, I think) on the Bible as a history of the conquest of goddess-worshipping peoples by the descendents of Abraham.  Although this book doesn’t seem as meticulously researched as Triumph of the Moon, I consider the time I spent reading it worthwhile in that it affirmed and expanded my understanding of the feminine aspects of divinity. 

Since finishing those two books one at a time, I have begun reading four other books simultaneously:  Margot Adler’s Drawing Down the Moon, Joyce and River Higginbotham’s Pagan Spirituality, Scott Cunningham’s Wicca-A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner, and A Witch Alone:  Thirteen Moons to Master Natural Magic by Marian Green.  A Witch Alone lends itself to being read a little bit at a time—each of the thirteen chapters is meant to be read and followed up with activities and journaling that would ideally be done over the course of one lunar cycle, and Scott Cunningham’s Guide seems to be more of a resource book than a read-it-straight-through type of book.  I’ve looked at enough of all four of these books to more or less safely say I would recommend them to others wanting to know the basics of neo-paganism.  I’ve also received, through comments on my previous post, suggestions for one or two other books that sound like must-reads, but I’m not complaining about the growing size of my reading list—I love this feeling of book lust!

With so many worthwhile books to read, I really wish there were more hours in the day, but I’m afraid I’ll have to make do with the typical 24 . . . but really, not even that, as I have started transitioning back into my life as a middle school teacher.  These last several weeks, with oodles of time to read, reflect, and attempt a ritual or two, work in the garden and kitchen, and get enough sleep each night have been a glorious time of learning and personal reflection for me, and even though I’ll probably have to start cutting back to reading just a page or two each evening before hitting the sheets, I’m determined not to drop the ball, the books, or the blog completely. J