What does a middle-aged cradle Catholic do when she finds Roman Catholicism no longer works for her (if it ever did), but she still feels spiritual yearnings? She ignores them for as long as possible, begins losing quite a lot of sleep, starts lurking around religion and spirituality websites, and eventually determines that substituting another “flavor” of Christianity won’t work any better for her than Catholicism did. That was me a few years ago. Of course, there’s much more to the tale than that, but I think this will suffice as an introduction to who I am. As to what this blog will be about, well . . .I’ve finally stopped plugging my ears and instead started to listen intently when the Goddess whispers. She has much to say to me, I believe, and yet I hope she takes a bit of pity on me and understands that I am still very much a baby seeker on the path of Pagan spirituality. This blog will be my way to keep track of what I’m learning as I enter and embrace the Pagan world.
Posted by: Sabrina | July 16, 2008
Entering the Pagan World
Posted in Introduction | Tags: Catholic, Goddess, Pagan
Welcome! I think their are many women in a similar situation these days. My mother was raised southern baptist and raised my sister and i in the church as well. I started my journey along a pagan path as a teen. My mother clung to her faith for a long time seemingly not deriving much from it as i got older. When her father died after being sick for several years i think it did her in the faith department. For a while she didn’t seem to have a spiritual life at all, but she slowly became more open to my ideas about nature-based spirituality. Over the years i have been gifted with the joy of watching her progress as a spiritual being in her own ways without any dogmas or guilt driving her. It’s been beautiful, and i’m glad i’ve had the oppertunity to share it with her. So with my mother in mind, who at almost 50 has welcomed paganism and cronehood alike into herself, i welcome you! May your path be bright and open ahead!
By: twincowfaeries on July 16, 2008
at 2:15 pm
Twincowfaeries,
Thanks for the welcome! It’s nice to know of others who are experiencing a Pagan Dawn at midlife, as I am. If your mther feels so inclined, I hope she will drop by my blog sometime!
-Sabrina
By: Sabrina on July 16, 2008
at 4:13 pm
Blessings on your path, and welcome to the world of the pagan bloggers!
Coming from a Christian background and experiencing a similar whispered awakening to you, I can only tell you it gets better. I’ve met such amazing people, and had such amazing experiences since ‘jumping ship’ and the learning and growing just keep on challenging me and making me think.
The Goddess sees us trying our best, and I think it makes Her happy!
TGW
By: The Green Witch on July 16, 2008
at 6:48 pm
Thank you, Green Witch, for your welcome as well. I have been reading and enjoying your posts–in fact, your blog was one of the ones that inspired me to begin one of my own.
Blessings,
Sabrina
By: Sabrina on July 17, 2008
at 1:33 am
May your pagan path be filled with much joy and many blessings! And welcome to the pagan blogging world as well! I look forward to reading about your journey and your experiences along the way.
By: owlish on July 17, 2008
at 5:27 am
Owlish, thank you so much for dropping by my blog. Your warm and supportive comment gives me encouragement to continue seeking and learning.
Blessings,
Sabrina
By: Sabrina on July 17, 2008
at 5:57 am
Thank you Sabrina – that’s a great compliment, and I appreciate it! Blessings! TGW
By: The Green Witch on July 17, 2008
at 8:31 am
Thanks for posting your blog. I enjoyed reading it and I look forward to reading more of it in future days.
When you say that you have “spiritual yearnings” what is it, precisely, that you mean and why if you find yourself unable to satisfy these with the Christian God do you think that you will be able to satisfy these with a non-Christian Goddess?
I think zeteticism is the overarching characteristic of modern, Western paganism and, looking around me at some of the mad amalgams and phantasies which infest it, that it is not something to be considered as a virtue.
What brought you to paganism? Where did you encounter these ideas that have so recently convinced you that you wish to be a pagan? What are these ideas and in what qualitative sense are they different to those of Christianity?
If I were to offer any advice to a person who wishes to live as a pagan then I would tell them first to discover everything they could about the pagan beliefs of the past – those which specifically draw their interest – as well as the historical origins of modern paganism before they drop all love for their previous beliefs and practices and people. If after this they wish to continue their lives in a pagan manner I should then recommend that they choose a single religion and not a post modern mongrel “path”. Were such a person travelling from the dogma of Roman Catholicism, and I do not use the term dogma in any pejorative sense, to a set of religions devoid of dogma then I should stress this need to them very strongly.
Best wishes,
John.
http://rainattimes.blogspot.com
By: John. on July 27, 2008
at 8:46 am
John—
Thank you so very much for asking me these questions! Let me respond to them in the order you asked:
The spiritual yearnings I alluded to in my first post come from a desire to express my joy and wonder at the existence of our vast and varied universe and to acknowledge the existence of a divine force which I am incapable of understanding completely but with which I believe all of creation is imbued. As to why I think I will be able to satisfy these yearnings as a Pagan in a way that I have not been able to do as a Christian, I think for me it comes down to the “smallness” of the Judeo-Christian God, as I have grown to understand him through roughly five decades of living as a Roman Catholic. By “smallness” I mean that the Judeo-Christian God seems to be one that, having created the universe and all that is in it, is now sort of sitting back, watching us humans muck it up, nodding his head and saying to himself, “Yes, just as I thought—they’re a bunch of losers.” The emphasis seems so much to be on how inadequate we are and on the need for mediation through Jesus and through the church hierarchy in order for redemption to take place. As a Pagan, I can live what I believe is a more uplifting spirituality that calls me to be responsible for my own actions and personally in touch with the divine. I’d like to clarify that I have not forsaken a masculine God for a feminine Goddess, but with the exception of an occasional mention of a feminine aspect of God in the Judeo-Christian Bible, I have spent roughly 50 years being spiritually formed to think of God as “he”; I think it is not unreasonable, at what I hope is the midway point in my life, to shift my focus somewhat more toward understanding the feminine aspects of Deity. Admittedly, part of the challenge I have faced as a Christian and continue to face as a Pagan is the limitation of the English language in describing and discussing the divine according to gender roles or the genderless “it.” As Blaise Pascal wrote, “The heart has its reasons, of which reason knows nothing.” Similarly, I think the heart/soul of a human being has a spiritual language which written/spoken language is inadequate to express. Thus, while I might have spiritual experiences that defy my ability to express fully in written/spoken language, I do want to engage on a human, existential level with others who appear to be engaged in a spirituality that is similar to mine, and I therefore must communicate with them verbally. I trust that each of us cannot communicate the full essence of the heart/soul experience, but that what we take away from any communication about spirituality enriches us nonetheless.
I want to thank you for enriching my vocabulary with the word “zeteticism” in your comment! Having never run into it before, I spent some time reading up on it and on Marcello Truzzi in order to understand your comment a little bit better. My take on your comment that modern Western paganism is infused with zeteticism is that most modern Western pagans take the approach that since no religious belief can be proven scientifically, then any one set of beliefs is just as good as any other. I do not pretend to think that anything about my current spiritual path is scientific (well, other than the fact that as a teacher and student of the natural sciences, I have experienced feelings of awe at the complexity and wonders of the natural world), or even anti-scientific. If my feelings could all be measured and explained in scientific terms, I think I would have no need for spirituality at all. But I see science and spirituality as two entirely different languages/approaches/philosophies/realms. Getting back to zeteticism in general, I can see your point that the diversity of belief among Western non-monotheists, coupled with a lack of intellectual rigor on the part of many who call themselves Pagan, has indeed led to some “mad amalgams and phantasies,” but I would like to suggest that Western monotheism has also bred some pretty wacky schools of spiritual thought, and with the general approbation (especially here in the U.s.) given to anyone who professes in the name of the Christian God, I fear that some rather scary individuals and groups get a pass on some really worrisome beliefs and practices just because they have figured out how to “talk the talk.”
It would be difficult to boil it down to just a few specific experiences or ideas that have brought me to the point I find myself at just now of venturing onto the Pagan spiritual path. I can tell you that it hasn’t been sudden, and it hasn’t been so much a sense of disgust at what Christianity in general and Roman Catholicism in particular have become in recent years, as it has been a gradual dawning of realization that there is more spirituality “available” to me in this world than what is on offer through my local parish or even the world-wide Church. Part of every good religious education, in my opinion, is an opportunity to see how the faith of the followers sizes up against other belief systems. Having had that opportunity multiple times in both classroom and less formal settings, I have frequently come away with the feeling that there is much goodness and richness of understanding of the divine in non-monotheistic religions that Judaism, Christianity, and Islam simply seem to miss. As an analogy, I’d like to suggest that engaging in Pagan spiritual practices for me is somewhat akin to learning a new language. I’m a proficient speaker of my native tongue, but there are some things I can say in other languages that just don’t translate well into English. To answer your questions regarding some specific Pagan ideas I have encountered that have resonated with me, I would include deep reverence for all of creation, a belief that all of creation is imbued with divine presence, an understanding of the cyclical nature of creation, a respect for balance between feminine and masculine aspects of creation and deity, and a personal conviction that each individual is responsible for his/her actions. Yes, these great ideas can be found in many world religions, but in my experience and exploration of those religions, those ideas usually come wrapped in a hierarchy that is more involved in politics and power than it is in its followers’ spiritual well-being. As I indicated above, this realization has not come to me suddenly; it may seem recent only in that I have decided at mid-life not to sit quietly by and ignore the feelings of spiritual unease associated with the faith I was raised in any longer.
I appreciate your encouragement to learn about the history and beliefs of the spiritual path onto which I am venturing. I am a firm believer in the value of education and the importance of critical thinking. Your very thought-provoking questions have given me a wonderful opportunity for both in order to distill my understanding of who I am spiritually and to discern more about my direction on my spiritual path.
Blessings,
Sabrina
By: Sabrina on July 28, 2008
at 11:35 pm
Interesting blog! I’ll be sure to visit again. Good luck in finding your way in Paganism.
By: Alverad on July 29, 2008
at 5:42 am
Alverad,
Thanks so much for stopping by and for your good wishes. I see you are just starting a blog on spirituality as well. Best wishes to you, too.
-Sabrina
By: Sabrina on July 29, 2008
at 6:09 am
I should like to throw in my two cents here form John’s post and then Sabrina’s highly articulate response.
Zeteticism can simply be defined as ’searching’. If searching is a characteristic of modern Western paganism it begs the question – why are so many searching in the first place? What is missing?
As to historical origins, I would urge any religious person to examine the mythology of their religion, and to be honest about the ultimate construction of that mythology. Something old does not necessarily carry more virtue than something ‘new’ – although, Sabrina has already correctly stated that nothing is new under the sun. Every religion is the sum of all its parts and the efforts humankind have put into their spirituality over a hundred thousand years or more of development.
I should imagine there isn’t a neo-pagan alive today that hasn’t considered the virtues as well as the vices of the religions they have chosen to leave. Sabrina correctly states that neo-pagans of whatever stripe see their own responsibility for themselves, moral, spiritual and personal, to be the key. It behooves all of us to look at our previous faith and learn the truths it carries.
Choosing a single religion is not possible; post-modern pagan paths are mongrels by definition and this is because the action of mythologizing is still active, like yeast in dough. Sabrina correctly states that this action is still latent in Catholicism as well as other religions; it’s simply slower as there is a heirarchy, a dogma, lacking in neo-pagan faiths as yet. I hope, for a long time to come.
By: The Green Witch on July 30, 2008
at 4:11 pm
welcome to the path and to blogging world
I’ve been pagan for a few years now, and this year started a blog as well.. its nice to see how one grows on this path…
looking forward to reading more about you on your journey!
By: phoenix66 on August 23, 2008
at 2:46 pm
Phoenix66-
Thanks so much for stopping by my blog. So lovely to hear from those who are reading it! Your blog is lovely–I especially like the tagline “Not the only way, but my way!” Best wishes to you as you continue your journey.
Blessings,
Sabrina
By: Sabrina on August 25, 2008
at 11:42 pm